Have you done this before?
A challenging situation arises at the practice. Everyone has their own thoughts of how best to manage it. A resolution is found and the issue is put to rest. You thought.
The scenario keeps playing on your mind. You are distracted by it. The team have already moved on and the right thing for you to do is move on too. But the thoughts linger. They become stuck in your brain.
I am happy to say that I have become quite successful at ‘letting go’ of stuck thoughts. It was a skill I wanted to master because I dislike the unsettled feelings that go hand-in-hand with stuck thoughts. The mental process that I developed is one that I use consistently.
For starters, I decide whether the situation is one that is closed or open. Is the situation best served by my action or inaction?
For example, if the team has either solved the problem or decided it best to simply move on from it, then my continual efforts to delve into it will be a hindrance to team unity.
Another example is when the issue is between me and one other team member. We conduct a constructive discussion and come to a resolution. Opening the issue back up again will not honour the discussion process we had, and will re-ignite all upset feelings.
IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT ME
I look for the lessons in the situations in life as opportunities to help me to grow and evolve. I also acknowledge that everyone else is on their own unique journey too. Just because I am a participant in a specific situation doesn’t mean that the lessons are all mine. As others play a role in my awakenings, I too play a role in theirs. It’s not always about me.
Nothing in life is 100%. There is never the job or relationship or home that ticks every box, all the time. My awareness of this concept helps me to adjust my expectations of life.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Once I have gone through my mental process of determining whether my stuck thoughts are useful to the situation, once deemed useless, the key is ACCEPTANCE.
My mental process is not only an assessment tool to guide me to what actions I should take, if any, but also fuel for my acceptance. Giving myself logical reasons to accept a scenario makes it a lot easier to release the stuck thoughts around it.
If you find yourself getting bogged down with stuck thoughts, master the process of releasing them and enjoy the rewards of moving on quickly.
See my next blog where I detail the useful methods I have discovered to be peaceful when acceptance is difficult.